Daddy Archuleta, You Broke Your Kid!

Tuesday, May 13th, 2008

I don’t really pay that much attention to David Archuleta, this 17-year old "boy wonder" on American Idol because if you’ve been reading this blog, then you’d know who my choice is [Cooooookie!!!]. But I can’t help but read about him over the last couple of days.  His father’s banning from rehearsals over the weekend has been the biggest story among those who follow the show. One writer I follow even went as far as pointing out an interesting analysis as to why young David does not have what it takes to win this contest. 

He writes:

The news about David Archuleta’s dad, Jeff, being banned from Idol rehearsals was the nudge I needed to set down some thoughts I’ve been batting around in my head. (There’s lots of empty space up there, plenty of room to bat thoughts around.) The topic: Why it would be better for everyone concerned if David did not win the Idol crown. 

If I’m being honest (one of my favorite Simon qualifiers), much of that belief is founded upon my aversion to his style of music. Similarly to just about everyone, I was impressed early by David’s precociousness and bowled over by his rendition of Imagine, lyrically sanitized as it was. Since then, nearly everything he’s done has been a variation on this theme — ballad or ballad-like tempo, inspirational or impersonal message, runs around the melody line to show off his vocal skills, not seemingly to invest the song with greater significance. (He’s far from the only Idol in history to indulge in this practice, of course.) In other words (Frank Sinatra’s, actually, adapted liberally), it’s the song serving the singer, not — as Sinatra’s credo was — the singer serving the song.

So, yeah, part of my overall feeling is that musically David would make a poor Idol, likely coming up with a dreadfully saccharine, goop-laden album that — after Daughtry’s strides in getting Idols accepted in rock circles; Carrie, Kellie, Bucky, Josh and Phil’s country credibility; Fantasia and Ruben’s R&B achievements; and the relatively adventurous moves (for better or worse) of Kelly, Blake, Chris Sligh, Taylor and Bo — would set the Idol franchise back by years. But that’s not all.

I and others have already discussed David’s level of inarticulacy, notable even for a 17-year-old. And it’s obviously speculative, but every time I (and other observers) look at him when he’s not singing, I see a kid overcome by nerves and possibly fear of the consequences of saying the wrong thing, someone who appears repressed and is most clearly not having fun but instead is being thrust into a showbiz storm that could snap him like a twig.

Again, it’s speculative, but it’s not difficult to imagine David’s apparently domineering and thoroughly obnoxious father (here’s the key line in the tmz.com story, unverified as it is: "He has badgered producers, the band, vocal coaches and even other contestants." If true, that last part is WAY over the line) creating a climate in which David is rendered tongue-tied for fear of saying the wrong thing or messing up the careful plan to turn him into a marketable showbiz commodity. It sure appears that way on TV, and obviously we’re not seeing more than a fraction of what’s going on.

I worry that when it all becomes too much — and given the spotlight trained on the Idol champ in particular, that’s more of a "when" than an "if" — David could have a meltdown that would not only severely embarrass Idol but, more important, might scar him for life.

His father may have been grooming him all his young life for something like this, but from all indications, David’s just not ready for it. Finishing second or third won’t keep the spotlight off him, but it will at least reduce the glare. I think he — and yes, we — will be much better off that way.

Pity, huh? Does David even want to do what he’s doing? Or is it more because this is his father’s dream?

And now Simon Cowell is broaching the idea of lowering the age requirement next year to allow 14 year old contestants. And what? Have a dozen Daddy Archuletas to deal with, Simon? 

 

Photo credit/tipster: cherry